New Years Resolution’s are notorious for being “un-kept promises” we make ourselves each year. Last year, my number 1 New Year’s resolution was to practice more self-love. And guess what… I followed through. 2016 was a tremendous year of growth for me, but I plan on continuing it into 2017. Here are a few tips on how to make Loving Yourself More of a priority you can follow through on in the New Year!
1. Make lists of the things that make you happy: At the end of each day write down a list of at least 2 small things that made you happy. For example “my morning coffee was perfect.” Doing this made me appreciate the little things in life which ultimately made me happier and less bitter about things out of my control.
2. Stop saying “yes” if you want to say “no”: This one was hard for me simply because I like to please everyone and always say “yes” to people or plans. But I found that if I put more of my energy into doing things I actually wanted to do instead of doing things I was just okay with doing, I was happier and wasn’t always angry at myself when I was unhappy doing things I hated but felt obligated to do. I also found myself meeting new people I really genuinely clicked with and trying new things that I became really interested in.
3. Cut out the negative people: You don’t realize the impact negative people have on your life until you decide to cut them out. Negative people weigh you down tremendously, hinder your growth and just make you feel bad about yourself. Get rid of ‘em! Cutting ties might be painful and hard but in the end of the day, you need to put yourself first and not worry about everyone else.
4. Stop letting people walk all over you: This is so so important because almost everyone does it. Speak up! If someone does something you don’t like or isn’t treating you the way you need to be treated, either cut them lose or let them know. Just because someone is treating you a certain way, does not mean that is how you deserve to be treated.
5. Forgive them, even if they aren’t sorry: Holding grudges is probably high up on reasons people have such issues with achieving full on self-love. Staying mad at someone over something they did years ago, no matter how terrible they were to you, will hinder your self-growth indefinitely. Odds are, if they hurt you, they aren’t still thinking about it.. so why are you? Forgiveness might be hard and it might take a while but if you free yourself of all those negative feelings, you can fill yourself up with love instead.
6. It’s not always about you: Something one of my professors said has stuck with me throughout my journey. In summary, he said that if someone is treating you a certain way or seems angry at the world or you and you’re not sure what you did wrong- the problem is usually with them, and not with you. Everyone is going through things we can’t see, and sometimes they take that out on everyone who comes in contact with them. Instead of saying to yourself “what’s wrong with me” “what did I do” or “why is this person mad at me” simply reach out and ask them “how are you?” Usually their issue is internal and most likely not external. Stop being selfish when it comes to your empathy.
7. Do more of what you love: I feel like this one goes without saying, but for the sake of emphasis I’m going to say it regardless. Have you ever thought to yourself “man that painting class was SO fun but I’ll probably never do it again?” KNOCK IT OFF! Do the class! Do things you truly enjoy even if you do them by yourself. Odds are you will meet people that have similar interests as you.
8. Stop being so hard on yourself: This was one of the hardest things for me, personally. As a society prone to judging others, we seem to judge ourselves the hardest. This is the number one reason people struggle with loving themselves. It definitely takes time, but each day try to turn your judgement of yourself into positive comments. Instead of “my thighs are so fat” you could turn that into motivation to work out or eat healthier.
9. Stop seeking validation from other people: This goes to all you people who are obsessed with Instagram likes and harp on people who rejected you. Start focusing on yourself instead of people who focus.. or don’t focus on you (See number 6).
10. De-clutter your life: I found this tip to be extremely helpful. Everyone has some type of life-clutter they need to get rid of. Whether it be throwing away clothes that you love yet have only worn once, or deleting pictures of your ex from your phone, everyone has something they need to get rid of. Although it might be hard, de-cluttering will help clear your mind and allow you to- in a sense- breathe. If you need help, ask a friend to do it with you to either keep you accountable or just give you that little push that you need.
Now folks…let’s make 2017 our most self-loving year yet!
Cheers
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